1:1 trauma-informed coaching (virtual & in-person)

Supportive, professional coaching assistance as you steer your future

Today's societal challenges make it easy to slip into cynicism, hopelessness, and stagnancy. When paired with a dysfunctional family history, it’s even easier to feel like your personal happiness, goals, and health are simply 'not meant to be'. I’m here to help you see and effectively mobilize your own resilience, inner strength, and intelligence for a more energetic pursuit of your personal and relationship goals.

Technically speaking, I offer trauma-informed, mentor-coaching services. What does all that mean?

The role of a life coach is not to 'guide' you to some 'correct' answer. I am not the expert on your life! I cannot “fix” you through some combination of academic psychological science combined with local Voodoo magic I picked up in New Orleans. The strict role of a life coach is to be an excellent thinking partner that assists you in slowing down to focus on one issue at a time, clarify individual goals, brainstorm potential paths to success, and then offer support and accountability for behaviorally moving towards your specific thriving goals. You are your own guide and decision-maker... I'm just here to help optimize your process.

The trauma-informed part of "trauma-informed coaching" acknowledges the particularly challenging and complex issues resulting from personal trauma experiences. While not the expert on your life or goals, I am a subject matter expert on the many complex ways that childhood traumas can place many hidden obstacles in your way! These trauma-specific insights can bypass a lot of unnecessary pain, self-doubt, and lost time when moving towards your goals.

While toxic childhood relationships and experiences can leave you feeling "broken" or simply different than others, it's been my experience that trauma survivors think and behave in very natural, normal ways for anyone exposed to such childhood challenges. Most often, traumatic or dysfunctional childhood experiences simply led to unhealthy, distorted thinking habits paired with survival-oriented habits that work against you in adulthood. Personal stability, health, calm, and thriving success is not achieved by "fixing" something "broken." Thriving success involves replacing old unhelpful thinking habits with more accurate, reality-based, goal-oriented thinking, as well as replacing old toxic or self-defeating behavioral habits with skilled, self-empowering habits. My role as a trauma-informed life coach is to offer educational insights from the scientific literature on trauma recovery in our compassionate, non-judgmental coaching environment.

The mentor part of "mentor-coaching" refers to training opportunities in very specific skills within the coach's expertise that help a client move towards their goals. For example, if your romantic relationship is plagued with unproductive, turbulent, or repetitive arguments, you may benefit greatly from communication and conflict resolution skills training. This is similar to a sports coach who typically has personal experience in the sport, but specializes in producing champions amongst his coachees. In other words, I do not claim to be a world champion at conflict-resolution skills, emotion-regulation skills, communication skills, etc., but I do excel in developing these skills that are critical for trauma recovery and thriving in adulthood and family environments.

In summary, my job as a trauma-informed, mentor-coach is to function as a catalyst as you empower yourself toward your best thriving future, fueled by confidence, self-love, and harmony across your personal and interpersonal goals and experiences! I believe in your unique resilience after trauma. I believe in your deep inner power. I believe in your capacity to change your life as you see fit!

Any of these feel familiar?

• Your daily emotional life feels predominantly negative, or feels like a bipolar rollercoaster ride that you would like to exit.

• You hear old recordings playing over and over, often in your own voice, from childhood, "You're not enough. Expect failure. You are..."

• The exhaustion from work or relationship burnout keeps you feeling depleted, and hesitant to explore new possibilities.

• You know in your mind that you are not the exclusive source of your perceived shortcomings, yet your shame-monster keeps surfacing as you hear yourself say, "I am sorry for who I am."

• You recognize your pattern of selecting unhealthy or toxic friends or romantic partners, but are not quite sure how to avoid repeating.

• You struggle with simply saying, "I accept, love, and appreciate myself," without adding qualifiers ("... but only when I do XYZ correctly").

• Toxic secrets and shame prevent you from sharing the real YOU with others.

• Your generosity in relationships is not returned, and you end up feeling unappreciated, taken advantage of, or manipulated.

• You would like to remember the lessons you've learned from past traumatic experiences, but leave behind the pain and toxicity that lingers from such memories.

The logistics of working together

• I offer 30-minute, 60-minute and 90-minute coaching sessions via private (HIPAA-compliant) virtual video calls hosted on MS Meet or similar platforms.

• I also offer in-person sessions (by appointment only) at my office located in downtown Houma, Louisiana.

• You set the pace: weekly, every other week, monthly. We schedule sessions according to what works for you.

• My rates are $95 (30-min), $160 (60-min), and $230 (90-min) for individual sessions.

• I also offer monthly programs ($600-1200) that minimize paperwork and are less restrictive on session timing.

Training & Qualifications

Highlights

2025 - 4th degree black belt (Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu)

2024 - Author (This Is How We Heal from Painful Childhoods)

2021 - Ellender Life Coaching

2008 - Black belt in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu (BJJ)

2007 - PhD in Clinical Psychology (Palo Alto University)

1999 - BA in Psychology (Nicholls State University)

1995 - BA in English Literature (Nicholls State University)

Doctorate in clinical psychology

(2007)

Published (2024)

4th degree Black Belt

(Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu)

• Graduate school clinical experiences included 5 years of research, clinical work, and training at the National Center for PTSD within the Veterans Affairs Palo Alto Health Care System (VAPAHCS).

• PhD in clinical psychology earned in 2007. I worked as a clinical psychologist for 15 years before switching entirely to trauma-informed life coaching (during COVID lockdowns).

• Including undergraduate clinical work at mental health care facilities (1994), I have over 30 years experience working with survivors of all sorts of trauma (childhood, adult, military, neglect, sexual, family, addiction, etc.).

• 7 years experience teaching graduate level psychology and counseling classes at Nicholls State University in Thibodaux, Louisiana.

• In 2024, I published my first book on the topic of healing from generational trauma, childhood abuse & neglect, and dysfunctional family trauma and shame.

• Individual certifications (like EMDR, Trauma-specialist, etc.) and continuing education trainings are too numerous to list. Click on the image below to download my curriculum vita for a more detailed list of academic and clinical trainings and experience.

• I became a small business owner in 2007 when we (my brother, sister-in-law, and myself) opened the first Crossfit gym in Louisiana (now called Houma Strength & Fitness). Additionally, I started and ran my martial arts studio from 2008 until 2025 (Evolution Training), producing a handful of black belts, hundreds of new martial artists, and spawning two new local martial arts schools (Next Generation Martial Arts and Momentum Jiu-Jitsu).

Curriculum Vita (CV)

Contact today!

Reach out to schedule your session or ask about coaching and mentoring options.

Contact

Reach out for support or questions

eellender@gmail.com

(985) 381-7848

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Ernest Ellender, PhD